Today is my birthday. I’m 36 years old.
Yippee.
Me, on my sixth birthday
Remember when you were a kid and just couldn’t wait for your birthday to come? I recall being about six or seven years old and looking at the calendar, thinking, “It’s three whole weeks until my birthday? That long? It’ll never get here!”
But not anymore.
Now, when I tear off January and see month number two staring at me in the face, I think, “Oh no! Again? Will I really be that old???”
But why is that? Why is it that once we pass our twenties, we begin to cringe when our birthday looms? This year I decided it was time for an analysis.
First off, I guess it’s only natural to feel that with every passing birthday, we are one step closer to well, you know: The End. It’s true. It’s inevitable. And quite frankly, it’s not something any of us really look forward to. But I think the whole revulsion of birthdays goes a little bit further than that.
Our culture is one that embraces youth and frowns upon age. Everything is anti-wrinkle, anti-gray, anti-aging. Some of us don’t reveal our ages or we say, “I’m turning 29 again,” or “I’m 29 forever.” We worry about where we’re going to “put” our aging parents, as if they need to be conveniently stored in an out-of-the-way place so as not to interfere with our day-to-day lives (I already have a plan for mine and my inlaws; they don’t know it yet, but it involves bunk beds). In our culture, the old are not embraced, but rather sidelined. If you’re over 50 and out of work, it’s more difficult to find a job. Cover models (except for perhaps the AARP Magazine) are all young. Even older actresses say it’s more difficult to find roles as they age.
Me and Mom, celebrating today at Benihana
But not every culture feels this way. In some, the elders are revered. They are sought out for their wisdom. They lead their people until they physically no longer can. In some societies, age is embraced. In Japan, they have a word for it: sabi. It means “to have a beauty and contentment that only comes with age.” Hannah Montana cannot have sabi. Neither can the cast of Twilight, as gorgeous as they are. Sabi is reserved only for those who have earned it.
I realize too with this birthday that I am very lucky. Not everyone makes it this far. I have had family members and neighbors who passed away when they weren’t that much older than me. I look now at every passing year as an accomplishment that I am lucky to have achieved.
With that said, I’m using this blog today to wish everyone who’s reading this a happy birthday this year and every year! Look upon your magical day with anticipation, not dread. Be thankful that you have reached another year and hold your graying head high! For with every birthday, we are not simply adding a year—we are gaining wisdom and sabi.
For your next birthday, treat yourself like I did today. My mom took me to Benihana where received a free entree just for adding another number to my age (may I recommend the seared tuna). Check these sites to learn more about special birthday treats:
