I almost didn’t write a blog post this morning.
Actually, last night I thought about taking a break from the blog. And this very little business I’ve been trying to get started. In fact, I was actually thinking about making the break a permanent one.
The last few weeks have been filled with highs and lows. Every time I feel that maybe I’m taking a step forward, I take about a dozen or two back.
I realized that I started all of this (the blog, the business) because I’d like to encourage girls to do their best and be their best and believe in themselves. That’s at the heart of it all. My inspiration (like many other like-minded moms I’ve met) is my daughter. So I thought about this:
As my daughter grows, I will tell her she’s beautiful. I will tell her she’s smart. I will encourage her to dream and follow her heart. I will tell her that if she works hard, she can do anything.
But here’s the problem: she will not be able to do anything she wants to do. She will not be able to go for a walk in our neighborhood by herself after dark. She will not be able to go for a run by herself in the forest preserve by our house, even in daylight. She will not be able to sleep in her own house with the window open on a hot summer night. At least not without taking an increased risk.
We do not live in a particularly crime-ridden area. The Chicago suburbs aren’t high crime, but they’re not zero crime, either. No place is.
But as I encourage my daughter to pursue her dreams, I’ll also have to instruct her to be careful. Watch your back. Take your cell phone along with you on your road to success. And maybe some pepper spray.
And that’s my dilemma. The world I dream of may never exist for her. Maybe we’ll get closer, but it doesn’t exist now. She will always have to take precautions simply because she is a woman. This thought simultaneously scares, saddens and angers.
Last night, we left my parents house after a short visit, after dark. My husband wasn’t with us this time, so we hurried to the car through their apartment building’s parking lot. I placed her in her car seat and shut the door, then climbed in the other side, locked the doors and then belted her in after all of this.
“Why you do this, Mama?” she asked, wondering why I secured her in her seat only after I was inside and the doors were locked.
“Just to be safe,” I answered. “Someday I’ll explain it to you better.”
I didn’t tell her I did it this way because I was afraid someone might approach from behind. That there have been spates of crime in their neighborhood recently. That a registered sex offender lives in the next building. That there are usually homeless men passing through the area, on their way to and from a shelter. That over the weekend, a woman was found dead in the forest preserve down the road. Am I paranoid? Maybe. But you just never know. I’m not willing to take any chances, at least not with my daughter in tow.
As I belted her in, I looked at her. She’s not afraid of the dark, because she has no reason to be. Her world is one filled with love, princesses, fairies, stuffed animals, swingsets and balloons. If a monster comes, she slays him with her wand. I’ve seen it happen myself. If only that wand were real.
But as you can see, I am still writing. I woke up this morning with the feeling that I wanted to continue to write. Because there is hope. I will arm her with as much knowledge as I can. And I will try to make the world a better place for her and every other girl in it. We all can do something, can’t we? Today is International Women’s Day. We can’t give up. We all need to do something. Just imagine: if everyone did something, even something small, to improve the lives of girls… Our daughters are counting on us.
But sometimes, it’s hard, I know. We hear the news stories. We read the statistics. Something happens to a friend of a friend. We feel real fear. But then again, if we give up, who wins?
To learn more about this day and how to help women worldwide, visit Care.org.
