A New Double-Standard: Girls Can do Anything, But Boys…Can’t?!?

We all know now that girls can do anything they put their hearts and minds to. I’ve written about this subject on this blog time and time again. There are so many people out there now involved in organizations that were established to help prove this and encourage this sentiment in girls all over the world.

But what about boys?

How do parents feel if their sons approach them and tell them they would like to take up ballet? That they would like a pink t-shirt rather than a blue one? That they would like a Strawberry Shortcake DVD rather than Bob the Builder? That it is their dream to become not a doctor, but a nurse?

Hopefully, there are many open-minded parents out there who encourage their sons’ dreams, whatever they may be. However, I have encountered some who would discourage their sons from certain career choices. Parents who are even disturbed that their son might prefer something construed as “girly” or “feminine.”

Image from the movie "Billy Elliot"

I love the movie/musical “Billy Elliot.” Set in a rough-and-tumble mining town in Northern England, young Billy’s father has signed up his son to take boxing lessons. But as it turns out, Billy’s true passion lies in ballet. The heart of the story is really his father’s struggle with this fact and his acceptance of his son’s choices. Billy continuously fights against his father’s influence for his chance to dance…and wins.

Billy’s father’s problem with ballet was one of image: he didn’t want his friends and family to see his son as being inferior to other boys because of his involvement with ballet. If someone thought Billy was “a sissy” for dancing, that would reflect poorly on him as a father. All the other boys boxed, so his should too in order to fit it with their society and culture.

Perhaps that’s how many parents view their own son’s preferences. If a boy wears pink, will he be gay? And if he’s gay, will he not be as accepted by family and friends? And will we, as his parents, appear to have not done as good a job as we could have?

Women have fought for decades to have the same rights as men: the right to vote, the right to go to school, the right for equality in the workforce. We are still fighting to this day for equality both here and around the world. And we really have come a long way. There is more awareness that girls really are intellectually equal to boys, that their opinions matter just as much, and that they can do any job just as proficiently.

But boys should have that freedom and those rights too. They should also be told to follow their passions and apply themselves to whatever pursuits they wish. Unlike women, who have had to fight discrimination and even sometimes laws against admittance, boys have the legal freedom to do as they please. However, the discrimination they might face might be just as challenging, since it is one that comes from their own families or society.

Organizations such as Care and The Girl Effect often say we need to change the world one girl at at time. Maybe its time also to change people’s minds one boy at a time too.

For more info on Billy Elliot the Musical, now playing in Chicago, New York and London, click here.