I have a day job. One I really like, actually.
I am the marketing manager and prepress technician at a Chicago-area print company. I’ve been here for 12 years.
When my boss is away, I am in charge, like I am today. I work hard and like to think I do a good job as a supervisor.
However, I am a woman. And this brings about all sorts of trouble.
Take this morning’s incident. A man came into our shop to sell us something. He said where he was from and gave me his card. He asked me if I was the owner (actually, what he said was, “Are you the head-honcho lady?”) I said no. He then proceeded to ask me if I had “heard about those two women who got their heads beaten in?” (His exact words).
Um. Excuse me?!?
I had heard the news story circulating Chicago this week about two women who were brutally attacked and robbed in the city at 3 am. Fortunately, suspects are in custody.
“Yeah, I think they deserved it,” he said with a smile. “I mean, women shouldn’t be on the streets at 3 am. You know they were just leaving a bar or something.”
I never asked this man for his opinion, but he gave it, as repulsive as it was. The more frightening thing was that he did so in a threatening way. He also specifically asked me first if I was the owner of the company. If I had said yes, he might not have gone any further. Regardless, once he left, I threw his card in the trash.
This is not the first time I have encountered this kind of behavior directed at me simply because I am a female. I have had a man speak to me about the size of his male anatomy when picking up some of our used equipment, another delivery man asked if I had heard a story about a woman being stuffed inside a box the size of the one he was delivering. I have been referred to as “little lady” and “honey.” Comments such as these NEVER happen when one of my male colleagues is around. NEVER.
There is an office across the street that’s a client of ours. A few weeks ago, I went to pay them a visit, only to find that the door was locked. As I turned to leave, I heard a voice: “Hi, Erin! We’re still here!”
The two female customers of mine had locked the door because all of the males in the office were out for the afternoon. The two women felt safer to have it locked. Make sure there were no surprises or threats that could walk right in. This is on the affluent North Shore of Chicago. I rarely hear about crime happening here, and yet we female professionals must resort to locking our doors in the middle of the afternoon, just in case. And after my encounter today, I think it’s a good idea.
I am tired of it and angry about it. I can call this man’s supervisor and alert him to his behavior, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen again tomorrow.
When I was a girl, I was told by my parents and teachers that I could do anything. Maybe I was sheltered, maybe I was naive, but I never realized that for the rest of my life I would have to deal with threats and intimidation in the workplace—not from co-workers, mind you. But others I encounter on a daily basis.
This is not just about ‘equal pay.’ This is not just about creating policies in the workplace to thwart sexual harassment. This is about a woman’s right to be seen as 100% equal to a man everywhere. Of being able to go to work and feel safe whether you’re working for a large, policy-strewn corporation or a small business down the street. To walk outside at 3 am with another girlfriend and not assume that we’re going to be attacked and have others blame us if we are. (Apparently, as seen today, some harbor the opinion that women who are out after dark should expect to be beaten and robbed).
I have a dream too, and that is to have my daughter grow up as a true equal to men. To live without fear. To have equal pay for equal work. To live without harassment of any kind. It hasn’t happened yet. The Equal Rights Amendment never passed. And why was that? Probably for many political reasons that I’ll never understand. But maybe one reason was that the general, underlying consensus in our society and in others is that women really aren’t equal to men. Maybe most men say we are but deep down, just don’t really believe it. I’ve encountered that attitude on a day-to-day basis too.
But as far as today’s creepy encounter goes, whatever he was selling, I won’t buy it. And unless companies and people change their behavior, other women in decision-making positions won’t either. And believe me, the number of women in leadership roles will only grow from now on. We women are powerful. We talk to each other. We tell others about our experiences. No one reputable—male or female—wants to do business with creeps. The business world is survival of the fittest, and I’m sorry but, incidents like the one I experienced today aren’t fit for anywhere, let alone the workplace.
